


House Taken Over

by FujurPreux



Category: Beyond Belief - Fandom, The Dresden Files - All Media Types, The Thrilling Adventure Hour
Genre: Crossover, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 15:26:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6120928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FujurPreux/pseuds/FujurPreux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Dresden meets the Doyles, and they happen to need his help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	House Taken Over

**Author's Note:**

  * For [laurus_nobilis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/laurus_nobilis/gifts).



> "But  it's  the  house  I  want  to  talk  about." - Julio Cortázar

A handful of pixies flying through the window would be hard to ignore even if they weren't so frantic. Not that they were quiet on regular basis in their home territory—which Harry's place was by now—, but this time they were noisier than usual.

"My lord! My lord!" they kept yelling with their tiny voices. "A very important matter requests your attention!"

Being so important, they should start by telling it directly, Harry thought. He stood up from his desk. "What is it?" he asked. Although knowing them, it could be anything from solving a dispute as to who got to eat the last bite of pizza to—

"The Major General has been captured by mortals!"

—to that.

"What? Where?"

"In a circle!"

Harry pressed the bridge of his nose. Pixies. Even when they had a good incentive to remember summoning circles were one of the few ways to entrap them, they just couldn't. "Yes! Yes, I know. I mean…" He sighed. Better to skip all the unimportant parts. Like finding out who'd done this. Getting Toot's real name was fafr from an easy task, specially now that it was common knowledge that he was under Harry's protection. "Take me where he is."

"But that's what they want, my lord!" one of the pixies said.

"The mortals who have the Major General are requesting to speak with the Winter Knight," said another.

"He's bravely refusing to bring them to you, sire!" said a third.

Harry frowned, his mouth becoming a thin line. "Very well. If they want the Winter Knight, they'll have the Winter Knight." He got his car keys from the desk drawer and went to pick up his duster and his staff. "And he'll show them what happens when someone messes with my people. Let's go!"

"Yes, sir!" all the pixies exclaimed, so moved that, for the first time, they saluted at the same time straightening their backs, and then hurried behind the man they'd pledged to serve.

  


*

  


The mortals who dared trap Toot Toot had at least the decency to be in Chicago, although in a very fancy hotel. Not wanting to give them the advantage of knowing he was on his way, Harry turned to his arsenal of clever tricks to sneak in unnoticed. Namely, disguise his staff as a mop and don the overalls and the hat of a superintendent. As he expected, no one bothered him, and the pixies led him all the way to the most luxurious suit available. 

Any other time, Harry wouldn't have done that. He would've marched straight through the front door and ask the manager to tell those people to come down to him while he drank something expensive on their tab and then confront them, giving them a chance to free Toot on their own accord. However, he wanted—no, he needed—to set a precedent. No one should ever think it was a good idea to mess with anyone he'd declared under his wing. He had to be quick in making examples. The wizard's ire would be swift but loud and full of pyrotechnics. Then, he'd make a point out of sparing at least one of them, depending on how the battle went, so they could spread the news. With some luck, he wouldn't have to do it more then twice.

Then again, with the reputation Harry already had, it was a wonder there were still suckers who tried this kind of thing. Well, it would be over soon.

Once in front of the door, he knocked and said in his most helpful voice, "Cleaning service!"

"Did we ask for cleaning service, my love?" came a male voice from inside the room.

"I don't think so, dear," answered a female voice with an affected accent. "But maybe it's the time of the day."

"Well, we're busy here and they should've come earlier! Sorry, my friend!" the man exclaimed. "But unless you carry with you some spirits, we don't need you right now."

Harry eyed the pixies fluttering behind his cleaning cart and decided they were close enough. "I most certainly do have some spirits with me, _friend_."

As if it was the password, the door of the suit swung open. "You should have told that from the beginning!" the man said, his arms spread high. "Come in! Come in!"

"Can my spirits come in too?" he asked. Usually, people came and went from a hotel room often enough a threshold didn't have time to form. However, it didn't hurt to ask.

"What kind of question is that?" the man said. "Of course the spirits can come in! They're the guests of honor!"

Harry turned to the pixies. "Okay, guys. You're spirits today. Let's go."

It turned out that Harry's precautions weren't mere formalities—or him being only a smart-ass—; the doorway of that hotel room had an actual threshold. The real thing, like the one in the Carpenter's home. Luckily, the owner had given them all permission to enter—and the loophole worked—so the wizard and his entourage could get inside without problem. Amazing. Then again, Harry was amazing like that. 

All right. Time to set the set the record straight.

"My lord!" exclaimed a tiny voice as a very free, very enthusiastic Toot Toot flew toward Harry, stopping three inches from his face. "I'm so happy to see you again!"

Harry looked from the pixie, now surrounded by his peers and being asked how he'd defeated his captors—a fair question—, to the couple of humans that looked back at him quite eagerly.

"Excuse me, dear sir," the woman began, addressing Harry, "where is the alcohol?"

"There is no alcohol. These here are my spirits," the wizard replied pointing at the tiny faeries with his chin. "Now, what's going on here."

The woman pouted as if Harry had scold her with harsh words. "You mean you tricked us?" She turned to the man, reaching out for his hand. "Frank, darling! We were tricked!"

"We really need to be more careful with our phrasing, Sadie, dear," Frank Darling replied, holding Sadie Dear's hand firmly. He turned to Harry. "However, that doesn't give you permission to upset my wife, whoever you are. Nor to lie about alcohol. The first being, of course, the most important. But since both are related, my righteous anger only increases in magnitude."

"I—" Harry began, shrugging off his overalls and taking off the mop top from his staff "did not lie. You asked for supernatural creatures, you got them."

"Treacherous!" Sadie Dear exclaimed, pointing at Harry with her index finger.

"Don't worry, my love. I'll fix this," Frank Darling said, picking up the phone. "I'll call room service."

Harry murmured, " _Hexus_ ," as he sent his will to the phone until it started smoking. "There. No one is making any calls."

The couple gasped, but Harry remained unmoved. Although slightly amused—and satisfied, since he was getting the control of the situation.

"First, we clear this up," the wizard continued. "I'm Harry Dresden, wizard of the White Council, Winter Knight, and last but no least, also known as the Zaa Lord, Commander in Chief of the Army Major General Toot Toot serves in. Now, who are you too?"

"Frank and Sadie Doyle," Frank replied. "New York socialités currently in Chicago looking for a solution of an emergency at home. And here in this hotel room because the Major General needed some rescuing."

"They speak the truth, sire," Toot Toot chimed in. "The truants who trapped me are inside that closet."

Harry pressed the bridge of his nose. The exception to the increased pain threshold the Winter Knight Mantle gave him was nonsense-overdose caused headache. But once more, first things first.

"The Doyles from New York? Yes, I know of you. I sent you and invitation to join the ParaNet a couple of years ago."

Sadie smiled. "Oh, Frank! Do you hear that? He sent us an invitation!"

"That's very nice, dear, but I don't remember reading it," Frank said. "Then again, I don't read most of our mail. Specially if it's printed on coarse paper."

Harry tried very hard not to pout. "It was handwritten on parchment."

"And parchment is rather coarse, see?" Frank said.

"What was the invitation for?" Sadie asked.

"The ParaNet. An organization that gathers people with the Gift can stand strong against supernatural predators."

"And, say," Sadie continued, "in those gatherings, do they happen to serve booze?"

"In moderate quantities, I believe."

"Ha!" Frank exclaimed. "So in the end we did well skipping it."

Harry whined inwardly and decided to change the subject before his head exploded.

"Major General," he said. "A complete report, please."

Toot Toot straightened up his back and saluted quickly. "Sir, yes, sir! This morning, I was minding my own business when I felt summoned to this very room and, suddenly, I was inside of one of those circles—" dramatic pause "—and it didn't have any pizza! Nor a donut!" he added, his voice even more high-pitched with indignation as his peers gasped and covered their mouths in horror. Even when they were the ones to inform Harry about it in the first place. "The mortals who trapped me wanted me to take them to you, my lord, and then distract you while they attacked. But I refused!" He glanced at Harry, expecting praise. The Zaa lord obliged with a solemn nod and Toot Toot, with his chest puffed out, carried on, pointing at the Doyles. "It was then that they arrived. They put the other mortals in the closet and broke the circle I was in! And then, you arrived, sire."

"Thank you, Major General," Harry said once Toot Toot finished, saluting at the pixie. "At ease now. You've earned it." Then, he turned to the Doyles. "Would you mind if I ask you why you helped him?"

"Well, out of the goodness of our hearts, it wasn't," Frank said, shrugging one shoulder.

"That's what I thought," Harry replied. "Thank you for your honesty."

"One of my friends told us about the little one's predicament," Sadie said. "Because he could lead us to talk to you about our own problem back home."

 _So you need my help but you couldn't even read my invitation_ , Harry thought. However, it was an interesting turn of events. There was one silver lining here, to begin with. "All right. You're now talking to me, which means he doesn't owe you anything now."

"He most certainly doesn't," Frank said.

Not that discretely, Toot Toot sighed in relief. To owe a debt to anyone was a terrible burden; Harry himself could tell horror stories about it. So yes, it really was for the best that the little one was entirely free.

"All right," Harry continued. "Let's talk. What's your crisis? I need to know as many details as you can give me so I can decide how much to charge you for my help."

"Money is no problem," Frank said. "Whatever your price, we'll pay it."

Harry raised his eyebrows. "It must be pretty bad."

"Oh, no, no. There's nothing pretty about it," Frank said.

"Our house has been taken," Sadie began to explain. "Little by little, room by room. Forcing us to a smaller and smaller space! It was tolerable, until one day—"

"—A fateful day—" punctuated Frank.

Sadie sniffed. "It's so terrible! So awful! I can't even say it!"

"Dear, be brave. Mr. Dresden needs to know the whole truth."

The woman bit her lower lip as she looked from her husband to Harry with teary eyes. She looked so sad and distressed the wizard was about to give in to his chivalrous side and offer his help without any kind of payment. But then, she finished the sentence.

"They took over the liquor cabinet!"

_Of course._

"How we miss that cabinet, you have no idea, Mr. Dresden," Frank said.

"You're right. I don't," Harry replied, flatly. 

Sadie continued their tale of woe. "So in the end, we had to leave. We made our car our home while looking for help. It was then that we ran into my friend Mab, who then told us about you and that your little friend was in trouble."

"Mab? Winter Queen Mab?" Harry asked, his headache coming back in full force. He already knew the answer, but he had to ask anyway, if only for the sake of completion.

"What other Mab is there?" Sadie replied, as Harry expected.

There was no 'running into Mab.' Not when the Winter Knight himself ended up getting involved. Whether the Winter Queen herself had anything to do with whatever it was that took over the Doyles' house, she wanted Harry on the case. She just hadn't wanted to give him the order. Sadie called her a friend, and that was always dangerous. Even if it was true. Even _more,_ that is. Mab didn't want the Doyles on her debt so she just pointed them to the right place, all while doing Harry a favor not only by helping an important member of his pixie army but also probably saving his life from Toot Toot's summoners. Standard Mab behavior.

This only made the Doyles' bill inflate two hundred percent.

"What took over your house?" he asked.

"Beasts!" Sadie said.

"Horrible beasts!" Frank added. "You need to be there and see them for what they are to understand their infamy."

Three hundred percent.

"All right. I just need to pack up some gear from my house. Meanwhile, you can buy my bus ticket to New York."

"Oh, no. We'll drive you ourselves," Frank said. "We're that desperate."

"Our poor bottles must be so lonely," Sadie said, sniffling again.

"Fine, then. Just a quick trip home it is. Although… would you mind giving me five minutes with those fine people in the closet?"

"Of course not!" Frank said. "If you need to send them back home cowering, be our guest. We'll be waiting in the lobby."

With that, he took his wife's arm and led her out of the room. They closed the door behind them, leaving Harry to contemplate his life. But only for a few seconds. He had a few people to intimidate properly before a trip out of town.

  


*

  


Every single one of Toot's captors would live to see another sunrise. Although one of them would have to do it from a hospital bed. Not because the wizard had done anything particularly harsh, but because he tried to leave the room through the window while Harry was distracted talking. Ah, well. Nothing to lose sleep about.

Harry left a tip for the people who would have to clean up that mess and met the Doyles downstairs in the lobby after sending the pixies to their usual duties. Originally, he wanted to give them the afternoon off, but they insisted.

"Very well," Harry said. "Your dedication will be remembered." 

Those weren't empty words; Harry would give them a whole extra pizza when he returned to Chicago. 

The Doyle's car was an expensive one, although not that technologically advanced—small blessings; the last thing Harry needed was to blow up his customers' vehicle—and covered in a thick layer of dust.

As Harry reached out to open the passenger door, he remembered something Sadie said. Namely, that they had made the car their home. With what happened in the hotel room, he thought it'd be wiser to ask. 

"May I go into your car?"

"Of course. How else would we take you to New York?"

"Just making sure," the wizard murmured as he hopped in. 

Yes, there was a threshold there too. Stronger than the one he'd encountered before.

 _Hell's bells, how strong is the threshold of their actual house going to be?,_ he thought. Although, more importantly, what kind of creatures were strong enough to take over a place with a threshold like that? He was going to need the biggest guns in his arsenal. It took him nearly half an hour to get all geared up, all with the Doyles hurrying him from his living room. Although Sadie did it alternating with scratching behind Mouse's ears.

"Oh, Frank. Why can't we have a puppy?" she cooed. 

"Dogs are too much work, dear," the man replied. "Besides, I've heard they usually lead their owner to a healthier lifestyle."

"Aw," she whined. "Sorry, puppy. You'll have to stay home."

The one good thing about this was that the more Harry knew them, the gladder he was that they didn't answer the invitation to join the ParaNet. They had done the other members a big favor. Although, to have someone who could create a threshold just by being alone in a room definitely had its advantages.

"Ready!" Harry announced once he was all packed and put his dog in charge of the Dresden household.

"Good to hear," Frank continued. "Now let's go back to the car. We're on a mission and we are in a hurry."

And in a hurry they were. With Frank on the wheel, they parked in front of the Doyles' home nine and a half hours later. Harry considered adding the psychological distress to the bill, but decided against it. For the time being, anyway.

"All right, time to work," he said after getting the couple's express permission to get inside their place.

"Best of lucks!" Sadie said, waving goodbye at him.

"We'll have a drink in your honor when you return," Frank said. "Two if you don't."

"I didn't expect anything less from you," Harry murmured and went inside the building.

  


*

  


Bees. That's what Harry found inside the Doyles' house. At first he thought they embodied a supernatural force, or hid it. But when he extended his magical senses, he couldn't feel anything wrong with them. They were just normal insects.

The wizard weighted his options. No, he couldn't hit his head against the wall because there really were bees everywhere and he didn't want to be stung. He probably should go outside and tell the Doyles to hire an exterminator instead. It would be cheaper for them and it would be the right thing to do. But then he remembered this had all been orchestrated by Mab. She wanted him to do this, so if he didn't, she'd make sure he suffered the consequences one way or another.

Fine, he'd chase the bees away, give the Doyles their liquor cabinet back, and then collect the bill. All he needed to begin was some smoke and to find a queen that wouldn't be the one he'd like to exert revenge upon, but it was better than nothing. 

  


*

  


"There. All done," Harry said some time later. "They won't come back soon either."

"Our hero!" Sadie exclaimed and Frank even gave him a pat on the back. A well-earned pat, by the way. And a well-earned check was on his hand not much longer. Harry did add the psychological damage and even said so.

"We don't blame you, my friend," Frank said. "Those—Those things. Ugh. But now you're finished here, we can go back inside. You can find your way back to Chicago, I gather?"

Harry waved the check. "Yes, I can."

That satisfied the couple and, after a last exchange of handshakes and a quick thankful hug from Sadie, the Doyles went back to their home. To their liquor cabinet. 

Harry turned around and began walking into the sunset, looking for the nearest bank. His mind was made; he would spread the word that no one, ever, extended another invitation for the Doyles to join the ParaNet. No one deserved that. Well, maybe they deserved each other. Harry had to admit—and envy—that. They seemed to be very happy and in tune with each other. Who would be that lucky? Ah, at least he could look forward to a few warm meals—and the pixies to a few pizzas—thanks to them as soon as he was back in his own home.


End file.
